I remember taking her purple jeweled earrings out of her ear… combing my fingers through her soft white hair. Assuring her and myself that she’s going to be ok. She said she would never get the chance to witness my wedding. Holding her hand, I assured her that she will… she will live long to see me married and hold my first child… her first great-grand child. I firmly believed that. That she would be ok just as the doctors have said. That I will see her the next morning. That I would see her for dinner every Saturday. That I would see her at my wedding. That she will carry my first child.


It’s been a year… but everything remains vivid. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. Sometimes it’s a split second…other times it’s forever. Sometimes I’d dream of her. 2 weeks back, I was a little girl… we sat in a circle and played a passing balloon game. It was a lovely dream.

I made this wish in April and i continue to wish...i really wish i could hold you in your last moments... to hold your hand... to brush your hair. I wish i could say goodbye to you. I wish for time to turn back so i can take your earrings out again and put them back for you.

your green cardigan
the quilt you sewn for us
your delicious food
your gentle heart
the pat of your hand that puts me to sleep
sleeping next to you
your lipton tea my green tea
a wrapper of the sweet you searched high and low
for me the day before you left.
the necklace you wore on your wedding day
i will wear as i walk down the aisle

Miss you